Chapter 3: Confidence
Introduction
Because confidence is a foundational skill, it is one of the first skills we teach children. A child without confidence is less likely to take risks and be curious about her world, to express her feelings and develop good communication skills, and to make friends and build a community of support. In other words, children need confidence to be more successful with other skills.
Confidence is defined as having high self-esteem, an accurate and healthy self-assessment, and a belief that one has the capacity and the tools with to contribute to the system. Other sub skills of confidence include capableness; a sense of being loved; the ability to take appropriate risks; a sense of personal power; courage; and a positive outlook on life. Children learn confidence if they feel that they belong and have a sense of worth. We can teach this skill by providing opportunities for them to succeed and fail in a safe, caring environment.
To determine if children have a certain skill, watch and listen. If a child has the skill of confidence, you might see her volunteering to help another child; smiling with accomplishment; trying new things; sticking with a project until completed; showing excitement about new things; or standing up tall and proud. You might hear her say, "I did it; I knew I could do it; I know how to do that; I don't need help; I'll try; I can figure out a way; it'll work out; I'm good at that," or ask to have her work displayed.
Begin teaching this skill by introducing it with Activity #1, by integrating it throughout your teaching, and by doing the additional activities provided. Remember to help children notice when they are using the skill appropriately in everyday activities.
Activity #1 Introduction of Skill
Necessary items:
Book: Hoffman, M., & Binch, C. (1991). Amazing Grace. New York, NY: Dial Books for Young Readers. (Summary: Story of a young girl who loves stories and loves to act out the most exciting parts. When her teacher announces that they are going to do a Peter Pan play she jumps at the chance to play the role of Peter, but her classmates are doubtful. They tell her she can't do it. With the encouragement of her family Grace, finds confidence within herself and achieves her goals.)
Notebook, chalkboard, dry erase board or flip chart for note taking.
Time needed: Approximately 30 minutes.
Steps:
Read the book before presenting it to the group. Take a few minutes to become familiar with the story and the discussion questions. Think about what the skill of confidence means to you.
Read the book to your group of children or ask a child to read it to the group.
Discussion questions:
What does Grace like to do? Why does she want to be Peter Pan?
Why do the other children believe that she can't play the part of Peter Pan?
How does her grandmother do to help Grace?
How does Grace feel at the beginning of the story?
How does Grace feel when she is told she can't play Peter Pan?
How does Grace feel at the end of the story?
Have you ever felt like Grace?
What risks does Grace take in the story?
What risks have you taken before?
What do you feel confident about?
How can you become more confident in other areas?
Remember:
Children will have a variety of answers to the discussion questions—it's important to consider and validate each one.
This activity is designed to prompt children to think about the skill of confidence.
Use opportunities as they arise to show children that they are displaying confident behavior.
Activity #2 Wild Animals
Necessary items: Access to an animal handler or petting zoo
Time needed: 1 hour
Separate children into groups, having the younger children participate for 15 minutes and older children for 30-45 minutes. Leave time for discussion at the end.
Steps:
1. Contact and invite an animal handler to visit your program. (If this option isn't available, try visiting a petting zoo or contacting your local zoo for other possibilities.) Try to find someone who will bring a variety of animals such as birds, snakes, and spiders that children can touch.
2. Before the animals arrive, remind the children of how Grace liked to pretend to be a wild animal. Invite them to pretend to be wild animals.
3. Allow the children to express their fears, concerns, excitement, and questions about what will happen.
4. During the visit, help the children be confident about touching the animals and asking questions.
Discussion questions:
How did you feel when the animals first arrived?
What helped you get over your fears, if you had any?
What was it like to do something that you were scared to try?
How can you use this experience to help you try other new things?
What else would like to try?
Remember:
Part of being confident is taking risks.
Not all children will be able to touch the animals. Help them to find a way to take "baby steps" if necessary. Forcing a child to complete this activity will not be helpful.
It is acceptable to show children your own lack of confidence.
Activity #3 A Rose by any Other Name
Necessary items: Short monologs from various Shakespeare plays.
Time needed:
Approximately 15 minutes to explain this activity and allow children to choose the scene they want to memorize. However, allow some flexibility in the amount of time you give children have to memorize their piece.
Steps:
Find and photocopy a variety of scenes from Shakespeare's plays.
Remind children that in the book, Grace went to see Romeo and Juliet.
Challenge children to find a scene from a play and memorize it.
Challenge children to recite the scene for you and/or a small group of people.
Discussion questions:
What was challenging about this activity?
How did you make it easier?
How did it feel to accomplish the activity?
Remember:
Being confident means feeling capable of doing challenging things.
Everybody works at different speeds and will complete this activity within their own time-line.
Help children find ways to make the task easier by teaching small parts first, for example.
Be an example to children by memorizing a scene, also.
It's challenging—feel free to use passages from other writers.
Activity #4 Stratego
Necessary items: A strategic game such as Stratego, chess, Marble Madness, Battleship, or even tic-tac-toe. The game should encourage problem-solving, thinking ahead, and strategy.
Time needed: Anywhere from 5-30 minutes depending on the game that you choose and how much children enjoy playing it. They may play it once or decide to play multiple times.
Steps:
1. Remind children that Grace liked to pretend to be Joan of Arc, a powerful warrior.
2. Present the game and discuss the rules. Emphasize the opportunity to feel powerful in a constructive way.
3. Play the game.
Discussion questions:
Did you feel powerful during the game to make things go your way?
What helped you feel powerful?
Are there times in your life when you feel powerful? What are they?
Are there times in your life when you don't feel powerful? What are they?
How can you feel more powerful in those situations?
Remember:
Confidence means having a sense of personal power.
Personal power often comes from experiences in a situation. You can take knowledge from a past event and apply it to the current event.
Power often comes from doing things more than once and gaining confidence in your abilities.
Activity #5 Journaling
Necessary items: A notebook, and pen or pencil
Time needed: At least 15 minutes. If children want more time, that should be encouraged.
Steps:
Grace knew what she liked to do and what she did well. Ask children to spend a few minutes writing about their own personal strengths. Encourage them to be honest.
Discussion questions:
What are your strengths?
Was it hard to think of your strengths?
Why was it difficult or easy?
Add to each other's lists.
Remember:
Part of confidence is having an accurate self-assessment.
Some children might be uncomfortable with sharing their answers with everyone. You could ask them to share with first to help build their confidence.
Some children might find it difficult to think of any strength or may exaggerate their abilities. Help them see things realistically.
Activity #6 Sharing With Others
Necessary items: Nearby nursing home, retirement community or children's hospital.
Time needed: 30-45 minutes for the visit, plus travel and planning time.
Steps:
1. Remind children how Grace's family played an important role in her life. Discuss how having people around us who care about us helps us to have strength and confidence.
2. Discuss the site you plan to visit. Ask the children why people might be living there.
3. Ask children to work together to plan the trip. They could host a game day, play dress-up, put on a show, or have a dance.
4. After the plans are complete, visit the center.
Discussion questions:
How did it feel to help other people and share with them?
How did it feel to plan and follow a project to completion?
Are there people in your life who you could help?
Who are the people in your life who make you feel loved?
When you start to feel negative about something, what can you do to become more positive?
Remember:
Confidence means having a positive outlook on life and feeling loved.
Research what activities are appropriate for the residents before planning with the children.
You must be excited about the project, also. Being with people who are happy and excited helps us feel the same. Adapt the activity, as necessary, so it is fun for you, also. |
